I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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