I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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