She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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