There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
