Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
