I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
