dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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