I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
