I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
