I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
