he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
