Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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