It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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