its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
