So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
