I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
