i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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