Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
