Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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