Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
