But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
