I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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