we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize