This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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