So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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