well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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