honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
