If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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