WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I need water and some morals
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
