I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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