Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm bleeding and have questions
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
