In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
