I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
