To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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