I am puke
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
