I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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