glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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