well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
