she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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