seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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