goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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