I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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