I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
