What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
