I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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