still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize