i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
