no, he came in my armpit
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
