She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
