So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize