your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
