ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize