its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
