Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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