Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
