trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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