I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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