why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
