do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
